Forgiveness
| Mary Lawler

Everyone has been hurt or will be.  What’s your response? 

Do you ‘get even’ and then they ‘get even’?   And on and on it goes. 

Do you confront them about the hurt?  They might not even know they hurt you.  They need to take responsibility for what they’ve done.  But. . . you can’t control that.

You can only control yourself.

You can choose to carry the hurt around and keep hurting.  Add more and more hurts and the load gets pretty heavy.

Or you can choose to forgive. 

Forgiving does NOT mean it was ok

                                                      Or it didn’t hurt

                                                        Or that it’s ok to do it again.

It means I will no longer expect the debt they owe me to be repaid.  I will choose to release my offender.

I do that through 3 steps.

        I won’t bring it up any longer to my offender.

        I won’t bring it up to other people.  I know it’s tempting to gossip (that’s the next blog).

        I won’t bring it up to myself by rehashing it over and over.

You’ve heard forgive and forget.  But you will remember – our brains are set on automatic with this.

The ‘forget’ here means to wipe the debt off the books.  Like a creditor forgiving a loan that can’t be repaid.  It’s so important that the Bible commands it (Matthew 6:9-15 and Col. 3:13). God even says if I don’t forgive then He won’t forgive me. The parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:21-35 is an example.   

Yes, there are some exceptions. Some hurts are so bad we might need help to get through them.  That’s where Biblical counseling can help. 

Remember unforgiveness results in more and more hurt.  Don’t allow that to happen.  Forgive, move on.               

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